I don’t remember how I stumbled onto this book. I guess I was looking for some hints on dealing with grief.
Certainly the thought that our son isn’t really dead is a nice one. That our physical death is just the transformation into another phase of our life.
Stop Kissing My Ashes – A Mother’s Journey Through Grief is Judy Collier’s story of finding her son Kyle’s new spiritual existence.
I’ll admit in the past I thought the idea of people communicating with the dead was, well…. nuts. I find having a dead son has caused me to be more open minded. Anyway, I bought the book.
Right off the bat she got my attention when she said,
“on a soul level I knew Kyle would not be with us for very long.”
On the night we found out about Richard’s death, Debbie and I sat together and went through pictures. While talking, we both admitted we had always felt Richard would leave us early. Neither of us had ever admitted this out loud, but we both had felt it for most of his life. I always hoped I was just being a paranoid parent.
Mrs Collier used physic mediums to communicate with her son.
My skeptic hairs started standing up on the back of my neck. Physics?
Because her son was always fond of animals, Mrs. Collier was told to look for signs from her son to come from animals.
So it seems like every time she saw an animal outside, it was a sign from Kyle.
I fully understand, and share, the need we parents have to find out about the souls of our parted children. But every animal that shows up in the backyard can’t be a sign from the dead. Can it?
I was telling Debbie about this one night. How it seemed that every bug and critter the author saw was a sign for the author.
There was a moth flying around the ceiling. Circling the light fixture, like moths do.
I asked Debbie, “Do you think that moth is a sign from Richard?”
“No,” was her reply.
Just then the moth flew down and landed on Debbie’s shoulder. It walked up to her shoulder and almost looked like it was trying to kiss her on the neck. It then flew down and landed on her finger. It walked around a bit then turned to face her and just sat there looking up at her. It stayed there a couple of minutes then flew off.
A sign from Richard? I don’t think so, but still….. kind of weird.
Butterfly are often used as a symbol of the spirit life.
The other night Debbie was outside fixing a couple of pork chops on the grill.
She hollered, “Come out here and look at this!”
Up in a tree in our backyard were butterflies. Hundred of butterflies. Maybe thousands.
They were covering several branches of the tree. Like orange leaves with spots.
A sign from Richard? I doubt it, but still we’ve never seen anything like it around here before.
I told Richard, ” Bugs and critters won’t cut it kid. If you want to get in touch with us, you need to come talk to us in person.”
Kyle never communicated directly to his parents. Typical young male. But from the stories in the book, it sounds like he talked to just about everyone else he had known in life.
And then there were the “readings.”
The author did a lot of these, where her son communicated with her through a medium.
I’ve never understood the need for a third party. If those in the spirit world want to talk to us, why not do it directly. Why use a middleman?
I’ve read about the tricks that physics use. How they or their staff listen for clues. How they ask open ended questions that draw you in and get you to reveal more information. They get you to fill in the blanks but make it look like your lost love one is giving the answers.
A lot of the things Mrs. Collier tells about could fall into that category.
But still there are some things that seem to break the mold.
The title of the book is one such story.
During a reading she was told, “Kyle says tell mom to quit kissing my ashes. I’m not in there.”
Her son’s ashes were in an urn kept on the mantle. Every night she would kiss the urn to tell Kyle goodnight.
Can’t think of a way anyone would know that if she didn’t tell them.
She tells many very compelling stories.
Like probably all parents that have lost a child, I want to believe the stories are true.
It is sincerely written, and yes, convincing.
My mind is still open to the possibilities.
But Richard, if you’re reading this, no mediums allowed. Come talk to me.
10 responses to “Quit Kissing My Ashes Review”
[…] Since joining the grieving parents fraternity I’ve read lot’s of books. Many of the authors claim they receive signs from their parted loved one via nature. […]
Debbie and Spouse,
I am sorry for the loss of your son and since you have posted I hope you have been given stronger signs or are able to see outside of this “human existence” because of you do you will know your son is trying to communicate.
The reason mediums are brought in is because they have a higher level of energy that can quickly intervene the messages. Spirits can not literally speak for they no longer have vocal cords, they have energy.
Maybe if you open your mind up to something more than this earth will your son come through and if doesn’t think you understand or believe maybe he will on to find others who do. Don’t let your son go, he is around and trying to show you so.
I have yet to read this book and came across this site by researching, Life after Death.
My husband passed young and unexpectedly and he has spent the last year and a half showing me that his soul is alive. I never looked for things it happened but because I am aware, I see so much and so much has happened, just like for Judy Collier. I thought I was in a league of my own until I read about her events and now I have been re inspired to back this evidence.
I have never read about her loss until today and here it is years later and so much of what she has adorn has happened to me.
I can prove this, I have it with two pictures we owned that have changed and so many other signs. I will read this book and you will be hearing from me as proof to life after death because our deceased need us to speak for them.
Peace and Love, Dawn
Dawn,
Thanks for the nice thoughts.
I’m trying to keep an open mind. I do believe Richard is still out there. I have this deep inner feeling that I’m not done with that kid just yet.
He was a man of few words when he was still on earth. I’m not shocked he still doesn’t have much to say.
If he could just arrange to send me the password to his laptop, it would bring us a great deal of peace.
I’ll be looking for your future updates.
Peace to you too.
Dear friends in grief,
I lost my 37 year old daughter – breast cancer …
My sorrow is unbearable… you know this feeling…
One night, it was several weeks after her death, I cried a lot and begged her to give me some sign, that she was okay, and … she responded. When I fall asleep, I suddenly heard her voice, so familiar, so dear, she sounded the same way as always when she called me (and she did it every day, usually when her three kids were at school, just to say Hello!). She was always very optimistic and joyful and this time it was the same…
Since that time this “call”, her “greeting” is always with me.
In a couple of days, again at night, I suddenly felt a wave of great love, I’ve never
had such strong feeling before in my life. I cannot forget it… I am sure that it was from her.
Joe, I also felt deep inside that my daughter would not live long…
I wish all of us to find strength to live on, we all will be there soon, with our loved ones, life is so short…
My Step Dad just passed away and I was verry close to him. He just recently passed away. I was sapose to take him to the hospitole the day befor he past and I wated to long because i wanted to see my nice…I was sapose to be there he even asked why I wasnt there and I want so badly to talk to him and tell him Iam so sorry and he was better than my own father to me and he could never be replaced. what do I do?
Alisia,
I am sorry for the loss of your step-father, and understand how you feel. I have suffered with guilt about our son and know how it can be overwhelming. One of the things I’ve done is talk to his picture, I do that a lot. I also go to the cemetery to visit and talk to him. We can never replace those we love, but we can remember them, appreciate the time we had and the love they brought us.
We all grieve differently and have to learn how is best for us to deal with it, and it is very hard. But I believe those we love and who loved us would want us to celebrate their life and live in such a way that would honor them.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and wish you well.
Debbie
My grandma recently went to be with the Lord. I love her so much and wish that I had more time to spend with her. It was difficult to talk with her the last several years because she had dementia and a stroke but she always knew I was some she loved and that was all that mattered. On her passing, I am now flooded with memories of her when she was younger and active. Ten years ago, I used to have vivid dreams about the way life was when I was a boy while she was raising me. I wish that I still had those dreams. I felt so safe. I miss her so much. I really wanted to be her hero…she was mine.
I lost my 39 yr old son in Jan, 2010 and the pain is like no other. His death has made me a totally different person. I just have so much sadness and guilt. It has been almost a year now and I still cant function enough to get a job. I am going to buy this book tomorrow hoping it will give me some sort of comfort.
On June 28,2011 my whole world
changed with the passing of my
27 year old son. He was in the hospital
and went into septic shock from
surgery that turned out that nothing
was wrong with his intestines.
Anyway, I too have gone to psychic
mediums and have heard from my son.
I can’t wait to readQuit Kissing my Ashes
as My son Mike ordered it for a Mother’s
Day gift. Thank you for writing this book
Judy as it will bring me comfort.
My 26 year old son Joey is on life support, as we speak. Although I have begged God for a miracle, they say, basically, he is brain dead. They are keeping him on the ventilator over the weekens( it’s 5:15 am, Saturday). For us, I suppose. How do you give a dnr on your child? How do you discuss organ donation or make funeral arrangements? How do you let go? I am so sorry for your losses. May peace find each of you. As far as animals go- or “spirits”, I was raised Catholic. When my mother passed away, I walked around for 4 days feeling like she was in limbo-I guess. I didn’t feel any “all-knowing” sense she was in Heaven-or anywhere. I just didn’t have that peace. If anyone had a direct flight, first pass ticket to Heaven, it was my mother. She was a wonderful, kind, loving person and a beyond devout Catholic. I went and sat outside in a breeze way. It was a passage way between house and garage, with a covered roof. I say down and asked God to PLEASE give me a sign, although I don’t think I really believed in that sort of thing-really. I justasked him to tell me my mother was in Heaven. I was so lost without her. No sooner did I pray that ( with my full heart I cried out), a Cardinal flew up into the breezeway ( not exactly a place birds would fly), and for the longest time, flew in place. Like hummingbirds do. Just suspended there. I immediately felt this huge, warm wave of peace. I knew-completely, without a shred of doubt, my mother was in Heaven. I felt the bird was her. I can’t explain it. I just knew. Now everyday- because we erected a bird feeder in the yard on that side of my property, I see male and female cardinals. I say “Hi mom! Hi dad!”. Had anyone else told me this story, I’d think “That’s sweet. Whatever gets you through the night”. In other words, I’d think it’s just someone clinging to any type comfort, however “real”, and like I said, whatever works. I pray for each of you to find a sign of peace and comfort. My son is still technically alive, but by machines. I’m going to have to let him go-soon. This is a club I wished never to become a member to. I pray you all find comfort. God bless you all. Peace be with you.