A Prayer Request

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by Joe Mudd on December 23, 2011

Tonight my cousin Denise lost her daughter Jessica.

It brings back memories of that night two and a half years ago. Debbie and I were sitting on our couch going through every picture of Richard we could find. We sat there crying, hugging and, if you can believe it, laughing as we looked at the images of the smiling face we’d never see again.

Maybe Denise has been doing the same thing. See that playful picture of Jessica above? Denise just posted it to Facebook to let friends and family know about Jessica’s death. She says she likes this picture. And no, that’s not Jessica’s real hair.

I’m sitting here now trying to think of some magic words to say to my sweet cousin. I’m searching for something, anything I can tell her to ease her pain and grief.

But I have no magic words. There are none.

So all I can do right now is pray for her. I hope you’ll help me if you’re a praying person. I believe in the power of prayer, especially prayers said by many people in many places.

Denise has spent many worry filled days and sleepless nights in hospitals and at home nursing her daughter after the brain surgeries she had. She has one last earthly task to do for her little girl. I pray she’ll find the strength to get through taking Jessica to her final resting place. I pray that she’ll make it through the nightmare that never ends and find peace in the coming months and years.

I pray. It’s all I know to do.

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Denise December 23, 2011 at 9:52 pm

Thank you. Very few people i know, know this pain.

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Joe Mudd December 24, 2011 at 1:56 am

Denise my heart breaks for you.

I’m sure you’ve already heard people say, “I just can’t imagine what you’re going through.” And they can’t. Like most of the people that come here to this website, I have no need to imagine.

This isn’t a place I’d ever want you, or anyone, to be. Burying one of your children isn’t how it’s supposed to work. It’s just screwed up and wrong.

But we aren’t asked for our opinion about it. We just have to learn to deal with it.

I think we got through those first few days, and the funeral, because we knew we had to take care of Richard just one last time. That desire drove us. It was still the hardest thing we’ve ever done.

You have a great, loving family. They’re hurting too, both from the loss they feel from losing Jessica and from the pain they know you feel. They don’t know what to do and they feel lost. Let them help you whenever you can. Maybe find some jobs for them. Lean on them. Get lot’s of hugs.

We love you and we’re so sorry this has happened. You know we’re here anytime you need us.

See you soon.

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dawn February 13, 2012 at 7:44 pm

I too am dealing with the loss of my son. Your words brought tears to my eyes not just for me but to everyone who has lost a child.I wake up and remember that he won,t be calling, or walking through a door and reality sets in. The pain is unrelenting and unkind but a must i,m told. I miss him so much . My prayers go out to you.

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Heidi February 18, 2012 at 12:11 am
dorinda January 13, 2012 at 7:47 pm

my 14 yr son micah shane edwards my mother juanita sue cALVERT HOUSE FIRE….ineed some need prayers

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Jackie January 27, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Denise and Dorinda,
My 25 year old son was killed on December 29, 2011. Joe said it very well, “I pray. It’s all I know to do.” And to be very honest right now, sometimes I don’t even know why I bother to do that.

This is a very ugly pain. People don’t want to look at it. My heart goes out to both of you….

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Cathy February 6, 2012 at 9:02 pm

We too have lost our child, our oldest daughter, Charlotte. She was 38yrs old and it was her birthday the day she was killed in a car accident. We will miss her sorely, but we will see her again b/c she was saved and is in heaven now. We will miss her beautiful smile and her reassuring words. Prayer is getting us thru this greiving time, but we know it still hurts so deeply.

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Heidi February 18, 2012 at 12:18 am

From a mother who lost a child, I can only tell you what I would want someone to do…Hugs, lots of hugs!!! Sharing positive memories, allowing your cousin to live a memory in her life. Constantly keep in contact with your cousin reminding them you are there for them. The best advise I received was not to look past this moment, don’t look into the future. Looking into the future at missed moments, birthdays, holidays etc can add more pain to a day that has snough pain in it. Allowing yourself to deal with the pain in front of you and dealing with the later pain at a later time. I have already said a prayer for your cousin and will say another because I have felt God first hand through my pain and loss. <3

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Lillie Cole May 30, 2014 at 10:44 am

I too lost a child, a son. He was my only child. Back in May 31, 2002 he passed at the age of 36 from conjestive heart failure. Tomorrow will be 12 years since he passed away. Instead of getting better, The pain and grief that I am feeling seem to be getting deeper with each passing year. I’m 64years old and I live alone. I have no family here, they all live in different state which is OK, because I prefer being alone. But sometimes I do wish that there were someone to give me a hug and just say,” Lillie it will get better.” I know God is going to bring me through, it’s just that, it hurts so much. I try not to let my pain show when I’m around my two younger sisters and my daughter-in-law and my grandsons. I have to be strong for them. I love and miss my son so much, it seems that my heart is going to explode.God bless each of you and you have my sympathy because I do know what you’re going through. Please pray for me as I pray for you. Again, ” God Bless.”

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