About
One of the first things you’ll notice about this website is that it’s not pretty. Loosing one of your children isn’t pretty. It can’t be sugarcoated. So I’ve decided to skip the frills and angels, to leave this site plain and stark.
Plus loosing my son Richard has zapped my creativity.
One technique I’ve seen recommended for handling grief is writing a journal. Being something of a nerd, I have of course chosen to do my journal in the form of a website. A blog.
I have some misgivings about this. The posts in this blog are by nature very personal. They’re my attempt to figure out this whole dead kid thing. And release the pain. I’m by nature a private person. Yet I’m opening up this most personal part of my life to public view.
I did this because the sad truth is we aren’t the only parents to have a child die. And we won’t be the last. When you go through this, you’ll have people that care about you ask how you’re doing. You’ll wonder this yourself. By laying our grieving out in the open, maybe other bereaved parents will find some benchmarks.
Unfortunately we all grieve differently. So as they say in the commercials, “Your results my vary.”
One of my coworkers told me that after his step-daughter died, his wife was basically nonfunctional for three solid months. I took off work for 2 weeks. But just because I showed up at my job, doesn’t really mean I was at work. My mind is seldom there.
If I find something that helps, you’ll find out about it here. And when something hurts, you’ll probably find it here as well.
And finally, like most bereaved parents I want to tell the world about my kid. He was a really good young man. I don’t want him forgotten. So this website provides me a place to memorialize Richard. Tell a few Richard stories. Show some pictures. I miss him. I want people to know why.
If you find something here useful or want to share your experiences, please feel free to leave a comment or two.
If you’ve lost a child or are friends with someone that has, I hope you’ll find something here that brings you some comfort and peace.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Joe, just a note to say “welcome” to the grieving parents club. You are among friends, though we would probably not have sought each other out, but for this common thread of losing a child. Opening your heart here is a wonderful gift to other parents, siblings, extended family, and friends of a lost child (no matter what age). I didn’t know when I started my blog about losing my son (two weeks before his 21st birthday), that I would meet people from all over the world who shared in my particular form of grief. Now, just about two and a half years later, I feel closer to some of the people who’ve written to me, than I do to people I’ve known for most of my life. Weird, and true. Such is child loss. I wouldn’t have imagined so many things, so many events, so many losses as a result of losing my son, yet they have come to pass. Thank you for being brave enough to share your grief. It’s not easy. It’s survival. And, it’s a gift. In light and love, Linda
@Linda
Thank you. You’re right, it does seem to be a “club” of sorts. Very exclusive. And that admission fee… much too costly. But I think that members of this club have to help one another. This grieving parent thing may not be something we can do alone. It’s just too hard a road to travel without a guide. So thanks for your help on this path.