I don’t remember how I stumbled onto this book. I guess I was looking for some hints on dealing with grief.
Certainly the thought that our son isn’t really dead is a nice one. That our physical death is just the transformation into another phase of our life.
Stop Kissing My Ashes – A Mother’s Journey Through Grief is Judy Collier’s story of finding her son Kyle’s new spiritual existence.
I’ll admit in the past I thought the idea of people communicating with the dead was, well…. nuts. I find having a dead son has caused me to be more open minded. Anyway, I bought the book.
Right off the bat she got my attention when she said,
“on a soul level I knew Kyle would not be with us for very long.”
On the night we found out about Richard’s death, Debbie and I sat together and went through pictures. While talking, we both admitted we had always felt Richard would leave us early. Neither of us had ever admitted this out loud, but we both had felt it for most of his life. I always hoped I was just being a paranoid parent.
Mrs Collier used psychic mediums to communicate with her son.
My skeptic hairs started standing up on the back of my neck. Psychics?
Because her son was always fond of animals, Mrs. Collier was told to look for signs from her son to come from animals.
So it seems like every time she saw an animal outside, it was a sign from Kyle.
I fully understand, and share, the need we parents have to find out about the souls of our parted children. But every animal that shows up in the backyard can’t be a sign from the dead. Can it?
I was telling Debbie about this one night. How it seemed that every bug and critter the author saw was a sign for the author.
There was a moth flying around the ceiling. Circling the light fixture, like moths do.
I asked Debbie, “Do you think that moth is a sign from Richard?”
“No,” was her reply.
Just then the moth flew down and landed on Debbie’s shoulder. It walked up to her shoulder and almost looked like it was trying to kiss her on the neck. It then flew down and landed on her finger. It walked around a bit then turned to face her and just sat there looking up at her. It stayed there a couple of minutes then flew off.
A sign from Richard? I don’t think so, but still….. kind of weird.
Butterfly are often used as a symbol of the spirit life.
The other night Debbie was outside fixing a couple of pork chops on the grill.
She hollered, “Come out here and look at this!”
Up in a tree in our backyard were butterflies. Hundred of butterflies. Maybe thousands.
They were covering several branches of the tree. Like orange leaves with spots.
A sign from Richard? I doubt it, but still we’ve never seen anything like it around here before.
I told Richard, ” Bugs and critters won’t cut it kid. If you want to get in touch with us, you need to come talk to us in person.”
Kyle never communicated directly to his parents. Typical young male. But from the stories in the book, it sounds like he talked to just about everyone else he had known in life.
And then there were the “readings.”
The author did a lot of these, where her son communicated with her through a medium.
I’ve never understood the need for a third party. If those in the spirit world want to talk to us, why not do it directly. Why use a middleman?
I’ve read about the tricks that psychics use. How they or their staff listen for clues. How they ask open ended questions that draw you in and get you to reveal more information. They get you to fill in the blanks but make it look like your lost love one is giving the answers.
A lot of the things Mrs. Collier tells about could fall into that category.
But still there are some things that seem to break the mold.
The title of the book is one such story.
During a reading she was told, “Kyle says tell mom to quit kissing my ashes. I’m not in there.”
Her son’s ashes were in an urn kept on the mantle. Every night she would kiss the urn to tell Kyle goodnight.
Can’t think of a way anyone would know that if she didn’t tell them.
She tells many very compelling stories.
Like probably all parents that have lost a child, I want to believe the stories are true.
It is sincerely written, and yes, convincing.
My mind is still open to the possibilities.
But Richard, if you’re reading this, no mediums allowed. Come talk to me.
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