Go To The Top

Thumbnail image for Go To The Top February 10, 2012

As a young family we didn’t take many big vacations. We decided shortly after Sarah was born to become a one income family, so money was always tight. Big vacations cost big bucks. There was also that little matter of my not wanting to travel much. Let me take a few trips around the yard […]

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Two Years

Thumbnail image for Two Years May 23, 2011

It’s now May 23rd… two years from the day Richard died. Yeah, I know the “official” date is the 28th of May. But that wasn’t when he died, it’s when they found him in his apartment. In my heart I know he died on this day. We were at the farm that day. I remember […]

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The Suit That Never Was

Thumbnail image for The Suit That Never Was March 7, 2011

Our church consists of two separate church buildings connected by a central hall. There is the mid 1800’s era church we now call The Chapel. Our main church, the one where all the Sunday Masses are conducted is on the other side of the hall. We call that one The Church. The Church’s entry doors […]

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Expecto Patronum

Thumbnail image for Expecto Patronum March 5, 2011

When the kids were young one of my jobs was reading to them at night. First I’d read to Richard, then I’d go upstairs and read to Sarah. It gave me a chance to spend one-on-one time with my kids. I got to read a lot of good books I wouldn’t have ever read on […]

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Christmas Decorating at the Cemetery

Thumbnail image for Christmas Decorating at the Cemetery December 15, 2010

This past weekend Debbie and I went to the cemetery with Christmas trees. Once again we took small, real trees. We plan to take them and plant them somewhere later. Hopefully we’ll retrieve them before they disappear this time. Last year Debbie made strings of cranberries to put on the trees. Richard liked cranberries. Not that Jello […]

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Watching Football

Thumbnail image for Watching Football November 16, 2010

Football season was always one of my favorite times with Richard – at least during his more adult years. While he lived in Lexington he came to most of our pre-game tailgate parties at Commonwealth stadium, when we went to UK games. He didn’t miss much free food. He also liked to come and “discuss” the game. […]

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Silence of the Birds

Thumbnail image for Silence of the Birds October 31, 2010

It’s Halloween. Richard always had a good time with Halloween. So after church this morning we stopped in Kroger and got a couple of helium filled Mylar Halloween balloons to take to the cemetery. It was a beautiful morning, perfectly clear sky and crisp but not too cool air. A hundred feet or so from […]

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Zombie Shopping

Thumbnail image for Zombie Shopping October 23, 2010

Richard spent a few months working at Sears. He was in the tool department. He also liked Halloween. He always liked to run the haunted house at our church’s annual Halloween party. He was big into fake blood. He liked to paint on all sorts of cuts and bruises, black eyes and missing teeth. He […]

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Memorializing FaceBook

Thumbnail image for Memorializing FaceBook October 20, 2010

Richard had a Facebook account. Not too surprising, nearly every college kid does. It’s sort of a piece of his life, dangling out there in cyberspace. Debbie was one of  his “friends” on Facebook. I wasn’t. Facebook started out being limited to students only. Later they opened it up to everyone, and all us old […]

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Mr. Honesty

Thumbnail image for Mr. Honesty September 28, 2010

Early in our marriage we decided to become a one-income family so Debbie could stay home with the kids. This of course was tough for our young family to do. Money was tight. We had to do without and find bargains wherever we could. Debbie and the kids were grocery shopping.  As they wheeled down […]

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Richard Returns

August 4, 2010

It’s been over 14 months since Richard’s death. Last night was the second time I’ve seen him in a dream. This still surprises me. Seems like I’d dream about him all the time. But I don’t. This time he was only there for a few seconds. I don’t remember the exact details, but it seems […]

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Testing One, Two, Three…

Thumbnail image for Testing One, Two, Three… July 27, 2010

It’s been there for over a year now. Sitting right on my computer desk. One of the things I brought home from Richard’s apartment was that microcassette recorder pictured above. There were several cassettes, all looking new and unused. I finally popped them into the recorder and hit play. They were mostly blank. But on […]

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Richard the Cutlery Salesman

Thumbnail image for Richard the Cutlery Salesman May 2, 2010

Richard and I were often told how much we were alike. I’m sure that didn’t bother me near as much as it did him. But it was true. In fact, I came to think of him as the new improved version of me. One example of the apple not falling far from the tree – […]

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Thumbnail image for Easter April 4, 2010

It’s Easter Sunday. Another big family gathering day. Another check mark on our Year of Firsts check list. Our first Easter without Richard. I really hate these Year of Firsts check off items. But I’m pretty sure I’ll hate the Year of Seconds, and the Year of Thirds and on and on etc., etc., just […]

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Burnt Bacon

Thumbnail image for Burnt Bacon March 21, 2010

Richard was a Boy Scout. His troop was very active. They did a lot of fun things, and of course camping was big on the list. One morning Debbie was fixing breakfast. Frying bacon. Richard came into the kitchen and asked, “Mom would you make some of the bacon black?” “Why?” she asked. “We had some like […]

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St. Patrick

Thumbnail image for St. Patrick March 17, 2010

Today is St. Patrick’s Day. Pictured above is my uniform for the day. They were Richard’s clothes. One of the sacraments in the Catholic church is Confirmation. When we were babies our parents chose to have us baptized into the Catholic church. When we get older, usually middle school aged, we confirm that we choose […]

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Thumbnail image for Sportsaholic March 13, 2010

I was often told that Richard was just like me. While not always true, one area we were in sync was our love of sports. And Richard was a sportsaholic for sure. Richard wasn’t a gifted athlete (sorry kid, but it’s true). But he had a big heart. He loved to compete. And I think […]

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Richard Introduces Us To Ivy – Sort Of

Thumbnail image for Richard Introduces Us To Ivy – Sort Of February 19, 2010

Many times Richard and I were told we were just alike. One of our shared quirks was not liking it when someone was watching over our shoulder. We like our privacy. When Richard was in his late teens and early twenties he didn’t often share what was going on in his “private life” with us […]

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Thumbnail image for Faith February 11, 2010

Faith seems to play a big part in dealing with our grief. It even played a part in causing our grief. Faith in the medical profession was a big factor in Richard’s death. I’m sure the generic seizure medicine caused him to have his last seizure. We believed what they all told us – that […]

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It Seemed SO Real

Thumbnail image for It Seemed SO Real January 14, 2010

Since Richard’s death I haven’t dreamed about him. There was the one weird dream about him making comments on Facebook. But he hasn’t been in my dreams in person. Until last night. It was one of those incredibly vivid dreams. The kind that seem so very real. Intensely real. And Richard was there. Alive. I […]

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Thumbnail image for Ambush January 9, 2010

Debbie needed something for show-and-tell time at the next Compassionate Friends meeting. She was supposed to bring something that was important to Richard or something he was proud of. The idea was for everyone to show their item and tell the story about what it meant in the life of their child. She asked me […]

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Christmas Memories

Thumbnail image for Christmas Memories December 18, 2009

Of our three children, Richard probably looked most forward to Christmas. He was four months old on his first Christmas. After we put the tree up we brought Richard into the room and put him on the floor in front of the tree. He lit up just like that tree. He just squealed and laughed. […]

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Richard’s Fruit Salad

Thumbnail image for Richard’s Fruit Salad December 4, 2009

The holiday season has arrived. And for us that means family gatherings. My siblings, our children and our dogs meet at “The Farm” – my dad’s place. The Farm is 153 acres of rolling hills surrounded by creaks. There are ponds for fishing and plenty of woods to explore. The kind of place you can […]

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Our First Halloween at the Cemetery

Thumbnail image for Our First Halloween at the Cemetery October 31, 2009

Richard was a big fan of Halloween. So we had to do a little decorating around his tombstone. One tradition at our church has been a Halloween party for the kids. As part of this celebration there was often a haunted house – if there were enough older kids to run it. When Richard was […]

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Thumbnail image for Richard June 10, 2009

Here’s a quick tip for you. If you miss a call on your phone, and don’t recognize the number, and when you call back they answer, “Fayette County Coroner” – your day is about to go in the toilet. Mine did. It got worse. After apologizing for breaking the news to me over the phone, […]

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