Many times Richard and I were told we were just alike. One of our shared quirks was not liking it when someone was watching over our shoulder. We like our privacy.

When Richard was in his late teens and early twenties he didn’t often share what was going on in his “private life” with us – unless it required money from home. This didn’t bother me much because I knew Richard wasn’t doing anything bad and I understood him.

In October 2007, Debbie got a call from Richard’s roommate Drew. He was panicked because Richard was having a seizure. She told him to call an ambulance and have Richard taken to the nearest hospital. She called me at work and told me where they were taking him and we met at the hospital – St. Joseph’s.

He had a massive seizure. The emergency room people had a hard time calming his body down. He had to be put in restraints. They had a tough time getting an IV in him. Every time they tried to insert the needle he’d convulse, his muscles would tense with powerful contractions and the vein would collapse.

It was a long, tense time, but finally the drugs stopped the seizure activity and Richard slept.

It seems most people that have seizures come back around as soon as the seizure activity is over. They’re sleepy but alert.

Not Richard. His seizures were totally consuming. When the seizure was over he was out of it. The doctors and nurses couldn’t get him to respond for hours.

So we waited.

The afternoon pressed on into evening as we waited by his bed in the emergency room. As we sat there worrying, a little blond girl walked into the room. She glanced at us, went over to Richard and took his hand. She stood there with his hand in hers, gently stroking it with her other hand.

I looked at Debbie, she looked at me, both puzzled. Who was this person?

Finally we said, “Hi, we’re Richard’s parents. Who might you be?”

Her name was Ivy. Turns out she was Richard’s girl friend. And we’d never heard of her before.

Hell of a way to meet your kid’s girl friend.

We chatted during the early evening hours. We took her out to eat when it became obvious Richard was going to be out of it for a while.

She stayed with us for a long time that night. It was a comfort to have her there.

And when Richard finally woke up in the ICU the next day, having her there kept him from being depressed about having another seizure.

Ivy made Richard happy for the last couple of years of his life. We like her.

We just wish he’d have introduced us in a more conventional manner.

But that was Richard.