Another Birthday

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by Joe Mudd on August 31, 2010

Today is Richard’s birthday. He would be/is 24 today.

This one has been harder than the last. Last year his birthday was just 3 months from his death. In fact we had just gotten his death certificate a couple of weeks before that. We were still numb. The Novocain of early grief has worn off.

Richard was the special intention for the 8am mass at church. Debbie doesn’t remember if she set that up or if someone else did, but like all the other “Richard Masses” we went to this one.

We then went to the cemetery.

I was planning to do some sprucing up around his grave. Recut the edges and put down new mulch. But there has been very little rain over the last several weeks. The ground was like concrete. I couldn’t get the edger tool more than an inch or so into the ground. So I decided to wait till later – like this fall – when the ground is a bit softer. I put the mulch around my mom’s stone instead.

We put some balloons by Richard’s grave and watered the flowers that were sagging pretty bad.

A couple of guys at work share Richard’s birthdate. So I had a birthday cake made with their names on it. I’m taking birthday cake and ice cream with a bunch of toppings to work today. The guys at work might think it’s a celebration for them. One of them is my boss, so I’ll probably be accused of sucking up to the man.

That’s OK. Richard will know who that cake and ice cream are really for.

Happy Birthday kid – I miss you.

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Heidi February 18, 2012 at 12:27 am

The Novocain of early grief…??? Is that what this is? What happenes when this wears off? My son passed December 17, 2011, He was 20 years old. He left a 3 month pregnant girlfriend behind. I just know, when that baby comes, I am going to cry my eyes out! I fear what is coming….


Joe Mudd February 18, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Heidi, I can’t tell you what the future will be like for you as time passes – we’re all different, and we all grieve at our own pace and in our own style. But year two seems to be a hard one for most of the people I’ve met so far.

I understand your apprehension about the birth of your grandchild. Seeing your son in the baby may bring some initial sadness, but I think it will be a good thing in time.

You’ll have someone to share the story of your son’s life with, that will want to know about him a lot, and may only have you to learn that story from.

I’m sad to admit this, but after Richard died we were sort of hoping his girlfriend would turn up pregnant. That’s a very selfish wish, but having a little piece of Richard here with us would have been nice.


Heidi February 18, 2012 at 7:34 pm

I know…It is truly a blessing! When I found out they were having a boy, I was sad and happy at the same time.


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