Yesterday was Mother’s Day. A hard day for all bereaved moms.
It was Debbie’s first Mother’s Day with Richard gone. It came with all the pain of no longer having him there to tell her “Happy Mother’s Day”, of not getting another goofy card from her kid and from just knowing he is gone.
But it is also a tough day for both of us because on Mother’s Day one year ago, we saw Richard for the last time.
He worked on Saturday night, as a waiter at Logan’s Steak House. He drove to our house after he got off work, arriving in the early morning hours, so he could visit his mom on Mother’s Day. He went to church with us and got to stay for just a short time after, as he had to work that afternoon.
We told him goodbye and watched him leave for Lexington. That was the very last time we laid eyes on him. We never saw Richard again.
So we knew it would be a stressful day.
How did we handle it?
We decided to run away – sort of.
Debbie still has a hard time making it through church without tears. She remembers seeing Richard at mass every week, usually standing in the back and getting “volunteered” to help the ushers. The sermons on Mother’s Day often revolve around motherhood type themes. There is also a recognition of the moms at the service, usually they are asked to stand and all us non-moms clap for them. We knew this would be an emotional land mine for her.
So we didn’t go to church Sunday. Sorry God – please forgive us.
We went to Cracker Barrel for breakfast. But we didn’t go to our local Cracker Barrel in Shelbyville. We drove to Louisville to eat.
After returning home and changing clothes we went to Kroger and bought some stuff for supper and some flowers – tulips – to take to the cemetery.
We put tulips at my mom’s grave and at Richard’s.
We also cleaned the bird poop off Richard’s headstone and did a few plantings at his grave.
The plan was to go home, fix dinner on the grill and watch some movies together.
We just wanted to stay away from everyone and spent the day together.
That was the plan.
Then I got a call from my dad. He said the tomato plants were already too tall and I needed to come over and get them before the rain came in tonight. My dad is the tomato plant supplier for all of our family.
So I went to the farm and got tomato plants. I brought them home.
Debbie and I then spent a good portion of the remaining day light planting tomatoes. We put in 25 plants.
Then we fixed our ribeye’s on the grill.
It was a nice day in a sad sort of way.
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