It Seemed SO Real

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Since Richard’s death I haven’t dreamed about him. There was the one weird dream about him making comments on Facebook. But he hasn’t been in my dreams in person.

Until last night.

It was one of those incredibly vivid dreams. The kind that seem so very real. Intensely real. And Richard was there. Alive.

I was standing there talking to him, in what seemed to be a kitchen, but it wasn’t our house.

I remember telling him, “You really shook us up there. You’re kind of important to us, you know?”

And he said, “Yeah… I know.”

I’ve read many accounts of people claiming after death communications with their loved one. A lot of them see the person with maybe only an upper body, or opaque so they can see through them. And most have light radiating out behind them. This wasn’t like that at all. It was Richard in his normal body. No Hollywood lighting effects.

And he didn’t come to tell me that he was happy where he is now and it was OK, like most of the other people have reported. He was just back, and alive.

And I remember hugging him. And hugging him. And then I got Debbie to come over and join in. We had a big old group hug. And Richard hugged back. And didn’t protest. That should have tipped me off right there I was dreaming. Richard would never have gone along with all that huggie-wuggie stuff in real life.

And I felt such intense joy.

I joked with him that he’d have to come visit me in prison because they’d probably lock me up for insurance fraud now that he was alive. And I wondered who or what we actually buried out there in that big oak box anyway?

I told him, “We have to tell everybody you’re back and alive,” and he said, “Nobody cares about that.” I assured him many people did care a great deal, such as his big sister for one.

I don’t remember when Richard left my dream, but I know I dreamed more stuff and he wasn’t there.

And I woke up. It took several seconds to realize I was in my bed. It was dark out. And then I knew it had only been a dream. And I was honestly stunned it had been a dream. It just seemed so incredibly real – the most realistic dream I ever remember having.

I’ve posted this story in the “Comforting Thoughts” category.

Yes, I was very disappointed when I finally realized it had been a dream. And the nightmare of Richard being dead again was disheartening.

But seeing and talking to Richard in my dream, touching him, brought me comfort even when I was awake.

And I don’t understand why.

dreams Richard

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9 responses to “It Seemed SO Real”

01/19/2010

The Grief Roller Coaster

[…] now the track has smoothed out some. Mostly because of the dream I had of Richard. I’ve felt more at peace since having that dream than at anytime since Richard left […]

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02/01/2010

The Dream Fades

[…] had a dream a few weeks ago. It gave me a great sense of […]

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03/09/2010

Ivy

So, I got your letter and decided to read a couple things here since I was invited. This is actually something that was very interesting to me. I’m not a huge dream person, but I have had a lot of weird Richard dreams, too and I thought maybe I should share this one with you.

One of them is very striking and I will never forget it. Like you said, it was so real. It was my only dream ever that didn’t have a setting- it was just some unknown, vague, “space.” Richard was there in full body but wearing clothes that weren’t really familiar to me. Richard just smiled his smile we all know and love and gave me a hug, and that was it.

But the strangest part was that unlike any other dream I’ve ever had, there was an unearthly emotion attached to it before I even saw Richard there. It was impossible to describe other than it was excitement, happiness, and peacefulness all rolled into one emotion. And it was a very intense emotion. It seemed to me more attached to the place than the subject of the dream, and I remember wishing that I could stay in this place forever.

When I woke up I felt “better,” I don’t know how to explain it. In my heart I have to believe that it was a little more than just a dream.

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03/09/2010

Joe Mudd

Thanks for sharing your dream Ivy. I’ve wondered if you’ve had any of these dreams.

Thanks for being there for us during some tough times – and some really nice times too.

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06/16/2010

Observations After a Year

[…] see him many times over the span of a year. But there has been just the one time. That one time was the most intense dream I’ve ever had. Maybe because I think about him all the time when I’m awake my brain […]

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01/27/2012

Jackie

It will soon be a month since I lost my son. I have had 2 dreams about him. Just this week, I dreamed that someone brought him to me at work. I could see him sitting in a waiting room, and when he saw me, he raised his arm high….sort of a high-five gesture, but I am not sure. I ran over, reached for his upraised hand, took it in both of mine and lowered it to kiss it. Then I woke up. So here is what I have learned about dreams now….comforting and terrible. I also had that feeling of intense joy…a sudden relief that this death thing was over…then there was the pain of waking up and realizing the waking nightmare goes on. Still, I wouldn’t trade anything for the dream, and like Ivy, I have to believe that it was more than just a series of images that my brain made up, even if I deceive my own self.

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01/31/2012

Roberta Korntved

My 15 yr old son Austin died in July 2011. I obviously struggle with losing him so suddenly – – thought my heart had been broken before but NOTHING measures up to this. I’ve been so surprised that I don’t dream of him often. We were so much a part of each other. Austin, not my only child but my baby, was hard of hearing and he needed me for communication and assistance in so many ways that the other kids do not. It felt as if we were 2 halves of 1 whole at times. So why don’t I dream of him every night. I did one night about a month ago. He was all of a sudden just standing in our living room. No light, no heavenly body type thing. Austin in the flesh. Clothed in his jeans and a white T-shirt. Huge smile but also distant from me. My Austin would have rushed for a hug after not seeing mom for months. I went to his brothers room and said, “you won’t believe it, but Austin is here.” He was preparing to leave with a friend. The friend and parent walked in. I said things, in a whisper, to the child’s dad like “You don’t understand. He was dead. We put him in a box in July. Now he’s back. We have to tell people.” But then I noticed a black bear on our deck, toying with the back door. I raced to the window trying to scare the bear away. No way was I going to let this animal in to take Austin away from me. The whole time I’m trying to figure out how to get this bear away from our house, I keep getting more and more irritated. I just want to go hug Austin and stare at him. Why am I even paying attention to the bear? Go hug Austin and don’t let him go. The I notice the bear walking away and 2 cubs are frollicking further out in the yard. She’s protecting her family too – my charging at the window didn’t help . . . Then it was over. Just a strange dream but I woke up feeling so relieved and glad that I saw him and touched him even if I kicked myself for not touching him more. But oh how I long, just to see him again! One dream every 6 months isn’t enough for me . . .

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01/31/2012

Debbie Mudd

Jackie & Roberta,

Welcome to our site, I am very sorry for the reason you have reason to search out this blog my husband has spent many hours on. Joe has a way of putting down in words feelings we both share. I visit this sight myself to read some of the things he’s written and see if we have any comments.

I know the heartache you both feel and I understand wanting to have your children visit or give you some sign. I pray for that myself. Like you, I am surprised I haven’t dreamed of Richard much. I’ve had one dream since he died, and it wasn’t enough. He was just standing there in our kitchen smiling his big smile with that sparkle in the eye, and I went over to hug him and was shouting, “Richard’s back, Richard’s back!” then he just went away. It wasn’t enough. He was my baby and I miss him every day.

I have always dreamed, even talk in my sleep. It’s been something that has occasionally entertained my husband. I dream about weird stuff, or things to do with my job when I still worked at church. I’ve had really weird dreams about our children of other family. But the dreams I really want to have just don’t come. In fact for a while after Richard died, except for that one time, I didn’t dream much at all that I could remember, which seemed strange for me. But I keep hoping to dream of him, or even to have one of those rare visitations some people claim to have had. And like you both, I will keep hoping that he will appear if not for me then for his father.

Please feel free to visit us and leave a message any time. I hope somehow this site can help all of us in some way. Even if just knowing you aren’t alone in your heartache and grief. It is my opinion there are to many of us out there suffering the loss of a child.

God Bless,
Debbie Mudd

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12/20/2025

13win33

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