Grieving Parent

Tag: Comforting Thoughts

  • Happiness by the Books

    Happiness by the Books

    As grieving parents we tend to notice – even concentrate – on one thing ; our grief.

    That’s something we can’t avoid for a long time after our child has passed away. It just keeps jumping up and smacking us in the face.

    But at some point we all need to find a way out of that hole. We need to seek happiness.

    I’ll be the first to admit I have no idea what that looks like now. I know it will take a completely different form than we’ve known in the past. I’m not sure how to get there from here.

    On her Abundance Blog, Marelisa Fábrega has posted a list of books about happiness.  27 books in fact.

    Maybe this list will provide a place to begin the search for our new happiness.

  • The Smile Challenge

    The Smile Challenge

    Dr Seuss quote
    Click the image for a full size version.

    Richard was a Dr. Seuss fan. He had all his children’s books. And he demanded they be protected from visiting small children.

    So I thought this image and the up lifting  message it presents would be a good choice for grieving parents.

    It’s a tough goal. Sometime we can make it, sometime we can’t get there.

    You can download the full size wallpaper image by clicking the link below:

    Download the screen saver.

    (The image will open in a new page. Right click on the image and select “Save image as…”)

  • Getting Away From It All

    Getting Away From It All

    Debbie had to go to a conference for her job this past week. It was at Lake Barkley State Resort Park. We decided to turn it into a get away from it all mini-vacation. So I took several days off from work and tagged along.

    It was a pretty low key conference, with plenty of down time.

    This gave us a chance to enjoy the park and just spend some time alone together.

    The weather was nice. Just slightly crisp air. Great for hiking in the woods.

    Our lodge room had a balcony looking out on the lake. Pelicans performed for us on the water and squirrels played in the tree beside the balcony.

    On our second day Debbie had the afternoon off. We went for a hike on the trails around the lake. There is something about being out in the woods that’s healing. The leaves crunching under foot, the woodsy smell, the sun and the trees have a spiritual feel.

    Debbie, and a nice fall day in the woods. Great combination.
    Debbie, and a nice fall day in the woods. A great combination.

    Just getting away from the day-to-day routine was comforting. It’s so hard just to function on a daily basis. Seems like we’re always walking on the edge. Any little thing can push us over.

    The state resort parks have great dining rooms. So we didn’t even have to think about what to do for food. We had time to just rest and recharge.

    The overwhelming weight of grief lifted just a little.

    On the way back home we stopped at the famous Patti’s 1880’s Settlement for lunch. Famous for their bread baked and served in flower pots and 2 inch pork chops; the service and food were great. For desert we had Bill’s Boatsinker Pie. Chocolate in the extreme.

    And we all know about the healing powers of chocolate.

  • Our First Halloween at the Cemetery

    Our First Halloween at the Cemetery

    Richard was a big fan of Halloween. So we had to do a little decorating around his tombstone.

    One tradition at our church has been a Halloween party for the kids. As part of this celebration there was often a haunted house – if there were enough older kids to run it.

    When Richard was in Youth Group there was never a problem getting a crew for the haunted house. He loved running the haunted house.

    Among the stuff still in Richard’s room are his props for Halloween. There is the ragged Dallas Cowboys t-shirt. Full of holes, with no sleeves, and adorned with dried fake blood, he wore it for years. There is all his makeup for creating cuts and bruises. And his big bottle of “blood.”

    And of course the big plastic skeleton. He had it for years. It’s gotten in pretty bad shape. Richard had to duct tape it back together in several places.

    I wanted to take it to the cemetery and sit it up against the headstone. But I didn’t want someone to come along and steal it.

    There was no haunted house planned for this years church party.

    But it would be really cool if Richard showed up and staged one of his own. A real haunted house this time.

    With one very special ghost.

  • Butterflies

    Butterflies

    It is fall. A nice time to be outside.

    Debbie was in the backyard cooking our supper on the grill. Grilling may be the husband’s job in most households but we like the food to be edible when it’s done, so Debbie usually handles this chore. I was riding around on my lawnmower.

    Debbie motioned for me.

    I went over to the grill. She pointed up at the tree behind her, the one she was facing while doing her cooking.

    There were butterflies all over it. Hundreds of them. They were flying all around that tree. We didn’t see them anywhere else, just that tree in front of Debbie.

    We’ve never seen this happen before.

    A lot of people and bereaved parent support groups use butterflies as symbols. They represent the idea of leaving the old body behind and being reborn into the spirit world.

    Could these butterflies have been a sign from Richard?

    I don’t know. Until recent events, I’ve never thought about this stuff.

    I know we’ve never seen a big invasion of butterflies before. We didn’t see them anywhere but right there on that tree in front of us. Like they were giving us a show, or sending us a message.

    As the sun set they covered that tree.

    In the morning they were gone.

    A sign?