After Richard’s death Paula Fangman from our church gave us a copy of Healing After Loss – Daily Meditations for Working Through Grief by Martha Whitmore Hickman. Paula found this book helpful after her husband passed away.
It contains some inspiring quotes and a short reading for each day of the year.
The entry for October 23 caught my attention. I hope they don’t mind if I steal it here:
“Why not” is a slogan for an interesting life. – Mason Cooley
At first our energy is absorbed in doing the necessary things — making arrangements, speaking with those who come to console us. After the immediate hubbub is over, we are probably exhausted. Then, when some strength to do “optional things” begins to come back, we probably return to our conventional patterns and activites, glad for the security of “the usual.”
But our life has changed now, with the event of this loss. Perhaps it is time to take the energy we poured into that relationship (and often there was a lot of physical care) and turn to some new thing. Think of it. Let your imagination wander; poke around in the attic of your mind, where you’ve stashed away some dreams. What New Thing might you want to try?
Do you dare? Why not? Think of your loved one as blessing your effort, smiling through the veil that separates life from death, cheering you on — “Go ahead. Give it a try. I dare you. You know I’d love to have you succeed. And you may. This is the time!”
I will appropriate my loved one’s courage, and blessing, and dare a New Thing.
Since Richard’s death I’ve felt a great sense of being lost. Not knowing what my life is about anymore.
Maybe finding something new would be a step out of that lost feeling.
I’ve spent more than 30 years working in manufacturing. I think that’s about long enough. So for me, the “New Thing” will be a business of my own. I’ve studied marketing and using the Internet for business for a long time. I’ve helped some local business people take their business online. But mostly I’ve just dreamed about it. Maybe it’s time to do it for real.
Being a scatter brain by nature and having the 24 hour Richard channel playing in my head all the time, I find it hard to concentrate. So it will be a struggle.
Maybe you don’t want to start a business.
Perhaps you’d like to learn a new language. Or take up photography. Or learn to play a musical instrument. Perhaps paint some pictures or write that book.
What ever your “New Thing” is, maybe after the pain becomes less intense, you will go for it.
It can’t hurt.
I don’t remember how I stumbled onto this book. I guess I was looking for some hints on dealing with grief.