Richard was a Dr. Seuss fan. He had all his children’s books. And he demanded they be protected from visiting small children.
So I thought this image and the up lifting message it presents would be a good choice for grieving parents.
It’s a tough goal. Sometime we can make it, sometime we can’t get there.
You can download the full size wallpaper image by clicking the link below:
(The image will open in a new page. Right click on the image and select “Save image as…”)
Debbie had to go to a conference for her job this past week. It was at Lake Barkley State Resort Park. We decided to turn it into a get away from it all mini-vacation. So I took several days off from work and tagged along.
It was a pretty low key conference, with plenty of down time.
This gave us a chance to enjoy the park and just spend some time alone together.
The weather was nice. Just slightly crisp air. Great for hiking in the woods.
Our lodge room had a balcony looking out on the lake. Pelicans performed for us on the water and squirrels played in the tree beside the balcony.
On our second day Debbie had the afternoon off. We went for a hike on the trails around the lake. There is something about being out in the woods that’s healing. The leaves crunching under foot, the woodsy smell, the sun and the trees have a spiritual feel.
Just getting away from the day-to-day routine was comforting. It’s so hard just to function on a daily basis. Seems like we’re always walking on the edge. Any little thing can push us over.
The state resort parks have great dining rooms. So we didn’t even have to think about what to do for food. We had time to just rest and recharge.
The overwhelming weight of grief lifted just a little.
On the way back home we stopped at the famous Patti’s 1880’s Settlement for lunch. Famous for their bread baked and served in flower pots and 2 inch pork chops; the service and food were great. For desert we had Bill’s Boatsinker Pie. Chocolate in the extreme.
And we all know about the healing powers of chocolate.
After Richard’s death we asked friends and family to make donations in memory of him to a couple of charities.
Since Richard was an eagle scout the Boy Scouts of America were a natural choice.
We also chose the WHAS Crusade for Children. The Crusade for Children is a local charity, featuring a weekend long telethon on WHAS 11 TV in Louisville.
From their website:
Our Mission
The WHAS Crusade for Children exists to change the lives of children with special needs in Kentucky and Indiana.
Our Vision
To be able to fully fund all grant requests for organizations that provide help to children with special needs.
Watching your 20-something child struggle with his health is really tough. I think it would be even more devastating to watch a small child fight health problems that will affect most of them for their entire life.
The Crusade gives them hope.
My brother Stuart and his wife Lori made a donation to the Crusade. I guess that at a certain level of donation you can have a brick placed on a special memorial sidewalk. Stuart and Lori got a brick for Richard.
The WHAS Crusade for Children sent us a nice certificate citing this gift and giving us the location of our brick.
Debbie went today and took a picture of the brick.
This is a nice way to remember someone you love and help someone that really needs it.
Thanks Stuart and Lori.
Richard was a big fan of Halloween. So we had to do a little decorating around his tombstone.
One tradition at our church has been a Halloween party for the kids. As part of this celebration there was often a haunted house – if there were enough older kids to run it.
When Richard was in Youth Group there was never a problem getting a crew for the haunted house. He loved running the haunted house.
Among the stuff still in Richard’s room are his props for Halloween. There is the ragged Dallas Cowboys t-shirt. Full of holes, with no sleeves, and adorned with dried fake blood, he wore it for years. There is all his makeup for creating cuts and bruises. And his big bottle of “blood.”
And of course the big plastic skeleton. He had it for years. It’s gotten in pretty bad shape. Richard had to duct tape it back together in several places.
I wanted to take it to the cemetery and sit it up against the headstone. But I didn’t want someone to come along and steal it.
There was no haunted house planned for this years church party.
But it would be really cool if Richard showed up and staged one of his own. A real haunted house this time.
With one very special ghost.
The Responsorial Psalm at mass yesterday got my attention. It was:
“The Lord has done great things for us. We are filled with joy.”
Filled with joy?
It’s now been five months since Richard left us.
I’ll admit the Lord has done great things for us. And I’m grateful for them. Honest.
And I keep trying to figure out what happiness means without Richard in our life. And that’s the problem.
My imagination just can’t paint that picture. For 22 years just about everything that I consider a part of happiness has included Richard. He was often the primary source of that happiness. For me, happiness and family are nearly the same word. And joy is beyond happiness. A higher level of happiness maybe. And even more dependent on family.
And now such a big part of family and joy is gone.
So, I’m not filled with joy. Not yet. Maybe never again.