One of the first things you’ll notice about this website – it’s not pretty. Losing one of your children isn’t pretty. It can’t be sugarcoated. So I’ve decided to skip the frills and angels, to leave this site plain and stark.
Plus losing my son Richard has zapped my creativity.
One technique I’ve seen recommended for handling grief is writing a journal. Being something of a nerd, I have of course chosen to do my journal in the form of a website. A blog.
I have some misgivings about this. The posts in this blog are by nature very personal. They’re my attempt to figure out this whole dead kid thing. And release the pain. I’m by nature a private person. Yet I’m opening up this most personal part of my life to public view.
I did this because the sad truth is we aren’t the only parents to have a child die. And we won’t be the last. When you go through this, you’ll have people that care about you ask how you’re doing. You’ll wonder this yourself. By laying our grieving out in the open, maybe other bereaved parents will find some benchmarks.
Unfortunately we all grieve differently. So as they say in the commercials, “Your results may vary.”
One of my coworkers told me that after his step-daughter died, his wife was basically nonfunctional for three solid months. I took off work for 2 weeks. But just because I showed up at my job, doesn’t really mean I was at work. My mind is seldom there.
If I find something that helps, you’ll find out about it here. And when something hurts, you’ll probably find it here as well.
And finally, like most bereaved parents I want to tell the world about my kid. He was a really good young man. I don’t want him forgotten. So this website provides me a place to memorialize Richard. Tell a few Richard stories. Show some pictures. I miss him. I want people to know why.
If you find something here useful or want to share your experiences, please feel free to leave a comment or two.
If you’ve lost a child or are friends with someone that has, I hope you’ll find something here that brings you some comfort and peace.