You might give The Compassionate Friends a try when you feel you are able. They won’t be able to answer “WHY” but they are good at listening and they are all in the same boat, they have all lost a child somehow. And it does help us to be able to talk about our children with others, even to cry along with them as they share their stories.

You are alway welcome here, sometimes it may take us a day or two to respond but either Joe or I will respond to your comments. Joe is better at writing these articles and putting thoughts down, but he usually is right on target with what I feel also. And he always lets me know when we have a comment.

In the mean time we will keep you and your family in our prayers, and pray you get some answers, as well as the arrest of the person responsible for the death of Omar.

God Bless

The world does often feel bleak and ugly. This was really true for us as we faced that first Christmas without Richard, as you are now facing without Alex.

But something we must remember – the beauty of the world is still out there. It really is. It’s often not possible for us to see it because our eyes are covered by clouds of pain, and our hearts wrapped in grief.

We just have to keep going. Keep looking for that beauty.

You’ve seen the sky after a big storm, filled with angry clouds. Gradually they start to lighten. A ray of sunshine breaks through. Those days will come. I’ve seen a few of them after a couple of years. Just like those stormy skies, the clouds often regroup and close off that opening, so the sun no longer shines through for awhile.

But the sun is persistant. It keeps finding openings to peek through. It melts the clouds off more and more.

Maybe seeing rainbows and cloudless skies is too much for us to hope for. But I think we’ll have only partly cloudy skies again. The beautiful world will replace the bleak one – most of the time. It just takes a lot of time.

We always recommend the Compassionate Friends. You’ll find people that know where you are, and you won’t have to worry about talking about Alex to them – because they know.

Bless you and your family.

I am sorry for your loss.

Going to identify Taylor at the medical examiners had to be really hard. We didn’t have to do that with Richard. We never saw him dead. I’m not sure if it makes things easier to accept and believe because you see it with your own eyes like you had to do, or if it’s easier if you only have memories of them when they were alive like we have. I think neither way is easy.

I know you feel like you live your life on a yoyo right now, sometimes up, but other times down. It never really goes away, but you do learn to just deal with the sadness. The bad days become less crushing over time.

Just realize it takes a lot of time, and give yourself that time.

Blessings to you.

You’re right about not “getting over it” as a lot of people think we should. From what I’ve learned from others that have been on this road longer than we have, is we learn to adjust and live with the pain. And the pain softens.

Your two little grandsons will need you to help you learn about their daddy. I’m guessing that someday teaching them about your son will be a comfort for you.

Have you tried The Compassionate Friends (TCF)? You’ll be with people that know where you are, because they’re there with you. At the very least you get to talk about your son with people that don’t think you need to move on.

I just finished a book co-written by a bunch of bereaved mom’s. They were all big fans of TCF. My wife is a regular at the meetings of our chapter of TCF.

Bless you.

My mom died nearly 11 years ago. For a long time I’d see something or think of something that I knew would interest her and think, “I’ve got to tell mom about that.” Then I’d remember that I couldn’t do that anymore.

Richard’s grave is in front of her’s, so I talk to her pretty regularly.

It’s comforting to know she’s with Richard, and was there to help him when he left this world.

Time did make it better with my mom. Hang in there.