We’ve seen a lot of ideas for creating memorials since we began this journey of dealing with Richards death. We’ve received many as gifts from people that cared about Richard and us.

We get reminded of one every time we go to our church.  Last year a dogwood tree was planted on the church campus in memory of Richard.

Right now that tree is bloomed out and beautiful. It’s still a small tree, but it’s showing off right now.

Richard's dogwood showing off.

I appreciate this remembrance of our son. There is comfort in this enduring tribute. Knowing year after year this tree will decorate our little corner of the world with its flowery display. As it calls attention to itself, it will also remind all that see it of Richard’s existence on the earth.

This memorial plaque is at the base of the tree.

I can imagine many years from now, when we are gone too, people coming to church in the spring will come over to admire the beautiful dogwood blossoms.

They’ll see the plaque and say, “Who was Richard Mudd?”

He’ll be the mystery man.

They’ll probably think he was a big donor to the church. Figure him for a big money, high roller kind of guy. Well, maybe he would have been someday.

But they’ll have something to think about, and Richard will be remembered for many years – even by people that will never know him.

If your looking for a lasting memorial as a tribute to a lost loved one, or as a gift to the bereaved, you should consider a nice flowering tree.

The Compassionate Friends has partnered with the people at Legacy.com to bring you a special deal on a memorial website for your lost child. You can get a 14 day free trial to try their system and you will also get a 25% discount on your first year sponsorship. That’s what they call their hosting fee.

Here’s What You Can Do With These Tribute Sites

• Customize the design, yet create the site in 5 minutes using Legacy.com.’s 4-step process
• Include photos, videos, stories, and more
• Add music
• Invite family and friends to contribute and join in celebrating the life of a child
• And much more

Keep Your Child’s Memory Alive

I think all of us traveling this grieving parent pathway want to keep our child’s memory. These memorial websites are a simple way to do that and they let you share these memories with others, and let them share their memories with you.

I haven’t tried one of these because I already pay for this one. It looks like a nice system, and the price is pretty fair.

Get Your FREE Trial and Discount

To get this deal you should go to the page on The Compassionate Friends website. When you purchase a memorial site from that link TCF will get a share of the price to support their programs.

Richard had a Facebook account. Not too surprising, nearly every college kid does.

It’s sort of a piece of his life, dangling out there in cyberspace.

Debbie was one of  his “friends” on Facebook. I wasn’t.

Facebook started out being limited to students only. Later they opened it up to everyone, and all us old people invaded the young people’s turf. I didn’t request to be friends with our kids or our nieces because I didn’t want them to feel like I was snooping. I decided to let them make the first move. Richard never sent that friend request.

Debbie likes to go on his profile from time to time. His friends leave comments. It’s important to us to have his Facebook profile stay there.

But he hasn’t logged on in a long time. Facebook has made many changes and Richard hasn’t been there to respond.

So we’re worried his profile might be deleted someday. Debbie says that would feel like losing him all over again.

So we looked for some way to protect his account. And Facebook has something.

You can memorialize the profile of a deceased loved one. The “wall” remains active, so family and friends (active Facebook friends only) can post to the wall. The account is secured and locked down.

So we requested to have his account memorialized.

If you need to do this for someone you love here is the link to the Facebook form:

http://www.facebook.com/help/contact.php?show_form=deceased

We have another Richard brick.

There’s a nice little park located in Frankfort, KY called Cove Spring Park. Way off in the back corner, tucked into the trees is a beautiful memorial garden sponsored by The Compassionate Friends of Frankfort, KY. At the center of the garden is a raised round flower bed, with a statue in the middle. Paver brick surround the flower bed.

Many of those bricks have names. And dates. One has Richard’s name and his time on earth.

Sunday they held a brick laying ceremony and a balloon release. There are now more than 100 memorial bricks in that garden. The number of  tears those bricks represent is uncountable.

After the balloons disappeared from view we enjoyed a potluck style picnic.

It was nice spending time, enjoying life, laughing and eating with others in TCF. People from all walks of life and different stages in the grief journey, that have become brothers and sisters because of a bond we never wanted to share.

Click the thumbnail pictures below to see larger images.

After Richard’s death we asked friends and family to make donations in memory of him to a couple of charities.

Since Richard was an eagle scout the Boy Scouts of America were a natural choice.

We also chose the WHAS Crusade for Children. The Crusade for Children is a local charity, featuring a weekend long telethon on WHAS 11 TV in Louisville.

From their website:

Our Mission

The WHAS Crusade for Children exists to change the lives of children with special needs in Kentucky and Indiana.

Our Vision

To be able to fully fund all grant requests for organizations that provide help to children with special needs.

Watching your 20-something child struggle with his health is really tough. I think it would be even more devastating to watch a small child fight health problems that will affect most of them for their entire life.

The Crusade gives them hope.

My brother Stuart and his wife Lori made a donation to the Crusade. I guess that at a certain level of donation you can have a brick placed on a special memorial sidewalk. Stuart and Lori got a brick for Richard.

The WHAS Crusade for Children sent us a nice certificate citing this gift and giving us the location of our brick.

Debbie went today and took a picture of the brick.

This is a nice way to remember someone you love and help someone that really needs it.

Thanks Stuart and Lori.

Memories.

As grieving parents, they’re all we have left of our missing child.

Pictures are one of the best ways to share those memories. But if you’re like us, those pictures may be squirreled away in boxes, or in  many photo albums. We’ve got another option to help put your child’s life on display – the photo montage.

Richard’s “official” date of death was May 28. That is when he was discovered. He had actually passed on several days before that – I’m certain it was on the 23rd. Because of this, his body was in bad shape. We couldn’t have an open casket at the visitation service. We’ve never seen the dead Richard.

Richard was a great kid, and we wanted to show him off to people that came to the service. We had lot’s of pictures. With the help of our daughter Sarah, their cousins Hannah and Shelby, and Richard’s girl friend Ivy, we assembled a couple of nice photo albums. We had these out at the funeral home for people to enjoy.

One service our funeral home offers is a photo montage of the deceased. We got the biggest one – 30 X 40.

I handed them about 35 pictures of Richard at 5pm Saturday afternoon and the montage was ready at the visitation service the next morning. It was placed in a temporary frame and displayed on an easel.

We were able to take our guests over to the montage and share Richard’s life with them.

That montage really did show our kid. It was him, from the day he was born til just before his death. Richard being Richard – smiling and enjoying life. Bringing joy to those around him.

We’ve had it framed and it now hangs on the wall in our TV room. That way I can still watch football games with my kid.

Turns out the funeral home doesn’t do these montages on-site. They have it done at Memory Lane Montages in Frankfort, KY.

Rogers Funeral Home in Frankfort started offering this montage service for their customers. It became popular. So popular in fact, they spun this off into a separate business. They now have contracts with several area funeral homes. They also sell direct to the public through their website. Funeral homes go to the front of the line, so don’t expect an overnight turn around on your order. It can take several weeks.

We are very pleased with our montage of Richard. It is now a family heirloom.

Visit Memory Lane Montages Online.