Faith seems to play a big part in dealing with our grief. It even played a part in causing our grief.
Faith in the medical profession was a big factor in Richard’s death. I’m sure the generic seizure medicine caused him to have his last seizure. We believed what they all told us – that generics were just the same as the more expensive name brand drugs. I’m sure Richard believed this. So he didn’t think it was all that important to go to his doctor to see if the switch to the generic was OK. But generics aren’t the same.
We require faith to believe Richard is dead. We never saw him after he died. He’d been dead for several days before he was found, and he wasn’t in good shape. You’ve watched scenes on TV shows where the next of kin come to the morgue to identify the body. Well we didn’t have to do that. I didn’t want our last memory of Richard to be something ugly so I didn’t ask to see him, and they didn’t offer the opportunity.
Who knows, maybe Richard is part of the witness protection program somewhere. But I also have faith that he would find a way to let us know if that was the case.
And that brings me to the real biggy of faith – faith in God.
Our faith that Richard is gone from this earth, but he isn’t gone. Faith that he lives on in the spirit world. Faith we’ll join him there when our time on earth is done.
Faith that God has reasons for taking Richard back.
Richard had a quiet faith. I didn’t hear him going around quoting Bible verses. Didn’t hear him preaching religion to his friends. But he showed his faith with his actions.
On his last day of life he bought a new Bible. It was a large print version. Don’t know why he bought it. He had his Bible – a young adult oriented study version. It was well worn and used looking. Maybe he was going to give the new one to someone. Maybe he somehow knew he wouldn’t be needing it long, and I’d end up with it, so he got one my aging eyes could see better.
Richard was a regular at our church youth group. They went to a ministry camp every summer. The picture above is Richard playing the part of Christ in a reenactment they did his last summer in youth group. Debbie told me she didn’t like that picture. The image of her son looking like that made her nervous. It was too real. But Richard had faith.
And our faith that things we don’t understand have a reason, and we’ll know those reasons someday, is what let’s us keep it together now.
